Sunday, January 04, 2009

Has My Lizzie Been To Mars??

I just found out yesterday that Linda goes to Mars
Every time I sit and look at pictures of used cars
She'll turn on her radio and sit down in her chair
And look at me across the room, as if I wasn't there

Chorus:
Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well I wish she wouldn't leave me here alone
Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.

Something, somewhere, somehow took my Linda by the hand
And secretly decoded our sacred wedding band
For when the moon shines down up on our happy, humble home
Her inner space gets tortured by some outer space unknown.

Repeat Chorus:

Now I ain't seen no saucers 'cept the ones upon the shelf
And if I ever seen one I'd keep it to myself
For if there's life out there somewhere beyond this life on earth
Then Linda must have gone out there and got her money's worth.

Repeat Chorus:

Yeah, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.

We can thank John Prine for that. I didn't really know how to introduce this entry so, thanks John. I borrow from your wild and wacky words yet again as anecdote to what I hope is an humble pie. Suffice to say that Liz goes on these inegmatic journeys and connects up on that mysterious level many of us wonder about. Somehow something literally knocks on her head just as if someone's at the door.

Is it real? Some will just laugh and say its the subjective imagination having an affair with itself. Or worse, insanity. What the hell, it can't be any more insane than mankind gone mad in this world we're living in these days can it? If no more it justifies hope as more than an annoying nuisance.

Whatever it is it happens. On a regular basis. And when she comes back its always interesting to read where she's been. At least in her mind and feelings.

Who are we to question that its just her fancy? So indulge me here. Indulge yourselves. If anything its a trip you might enjoy and you just might be surprized that many of the mysteries that haunt us so just might have a future.

And even more surprizing? That the future is NOW! That somewhere, somehow, something took my Lizzie by the hand and secretly decoded the mysteries of our land....

Here's what she came back with...


2009-01-02 Elk Medicine, Whale's message, and Right Place

[Note: I was contemplating a Medicine Wheel that I had made at the Advanced Medicine Wheel Tool Workshop I went to last year. This Tool was designed to consider five areas in an organizational context: Purpose (in the center); Leadership (North/Air); Vision (East/Fire); Community (South/Earth); and Management (West/Water). It can also be used for personal and community development.]

Mamunia speaks: the rain is fine, so I will take that name today [note: mamunia is the name for rain in an African language]. We would like to invoke the circle, and do a short ritual to welcome the New Year and set our intention for it this morning. How does that feel to you?


Me: that feels fine.


Mamunia: Then let us welcome the four corners: Father of Earth, Mother of Water, Son and Daughter of Air, and Father of Fire. Let us ask for their wisdom and guidance, now and throughout the year. Let us thank them for their protection and care, and for the gifts that each brings to the circle of life. Let us renew our ties with them, so that we can work together to heal Mother Earth and our Universe.

Let us give thanks for all of our relations, for the winged ones, the two leggeds, the four leggeds, the creepy crawlies, the swimmers, and the standing people. Let us remember our ancestors and our children and the children to come. Let us welcome the unseen ones, in this and other dimensions. Let us light the fire in the center of the circle, and draw around, to share the light, the warmth, and the companionship. Aho.


Me & all: Aho.


Mamunia: we would like to do a round of the Medicine Wheel, with the topic being our goals and aspirations for 2009. I will put the talking object in the center of our circle, and each person is invited to speak from their heart about their personal and, if they are so moved, collective commitments. You are also welcome to speak about your hopes and fears, and any sads, mads and glads. In other words, anything you care to share is welcome.


Me: I’d like to draw a Medicine Card to get me started.


Mamunia: you would be most welcome to do so. As is everyone. In fact, why don’t we start with that, as a transfer in. What does this card tell you about your purpose for the New Year?


Me: I drew #3, Brother Elk. Interesting, because I just learned that Elk were prevalent in California, so I used to have a relationship with the Elk People. I knew their ways, their meat, their hides. And the shield (on the Medicine Card) has some human hair braided on it, which gives me the sense of giving back, of sacrificing, in thanks to the Elk’s sustenance.

The Elk is a prey animal. So they are very alert to their surroundings. They are swift. They are ruminants. They were basically the “cows” of my ancestors. I wonder if we ever domesticated them? I don’t think so. They are wild and beautiful and almost went extinct.

So what this tells me about my purpose for 2009… well, one thing is the importance of the herd. Also leadership (the bull) is important. Being willing to move to find new sustenance. So the importance of mobile, self-organizing groups. The importance of the family unit within the tribe.


Elk speaks: “We are here to share with you the knowledge of the land. We lived off of it, of course. We took what we needed, and gave back, without effort. You are now out of balance, so it will take some effort for you to get back into balance. But know that this is your natural state. It is not wrong to give to and receive from the Earth. Mother Earth has designed her inhabitants to do this.”


Me: Here are some highlights:

Stamina: As a prey animal, Elk had no other defense except his ability to go the distance, setting a pace that allowed him to utilize his stamina and energy to the fullest… If you have taken on too much recently, it might be a good idea to look at how you plan to finish what you have started without ending up in the hospital…

Family: Elk hang out with their own gender. This points to the strength you can draw from your own brotherhood or sisterhood. You may need a support group. Or at least a girls’ night out. When elks get together with their opposite gender, their mates, it is for reproduction.

Message: Elk is telling you to look at how you choose to create your present pathway to your goals—when to stop, when to persist, and to open to sisterhood for support.



Okay, so I get my purpose at the start of this year is to attend to the “how” of reaching my goals—especially paying attention to my ability to go the distance. Obviously I have a lot to juggle, but it will do me no good if I make myself ill, either physically or mentally or emotionally or psychically, in my efforts to reach them.

It is also telling me to flirt with my mate.


Mamunia: thank you. Does anyone else want to share reflections as they transfer in? I put the talking object—a piece of antler—in the center of the circle.


Inanna speaks: yes, I would. I am also reflecting on Elk, and am particularly touched by the importance of Sisterhood in the coming year. I am thinking particularly of the need to connect with the Grandmothers who have important survival skills to pass down. I know I don’t have to learn how to can tomatoes, but I do have my own grandmothers to connect with, who have stories and wisdom that might be relevant to me now.


Elk speaks: the four-legged are also members of this circle, and I would like to speak more about your purpose for the year, and our wisdom. We would like a healing between the two-leggeds and the four-leggeds. We understand how your survival has led to the relationships that you have with us now. But we hope this will change.

We believe that personal relationships between the two-leggeds and the four-leggeds will help you heal the gaps between us. We look to you, and honor you, but also hope that you will be willing to learn from us. We are but one form of manifestation on the planet, and we hope to evolve with the rest of those that are committed to healing. So it is important that you understand that we are not in a form that is “set in stone.” As terror moves, and as rage moves, we will have more flexibility to show up in other ways… as when the lion lays down with the lamb.


Whale speaks: In my being, I have the wisdom of many creatures, of a long, long history on the planet… and we have much wisdom to share, even though it is from a very unusual perspective relative to the land-based forms’ experience. We are still your relations. The mermaid form, in particular, was an attempt to bridge this difference.

The sea is so vast… yet it is being impacted in dramatic ways by the two-leggeds. Can’t you feel the anger in the hurricane? Or the forgiveness in a gentle rain? For all of your science, your “meteorology,” you still don’t seem to understand some simple facts—you can’t harvest the sea without feeling Poseidon’s wrath, if you keep on dumping your junk into our space.

The sea is like another dimension, like the Astral plain… it holds everything that is poured into it. And it is like the Akashic plain, in that it’s substance is not the currents—yet the currents are literally the most powerful force on Earth.

The Native Americans, First Nations, and many other Indigenous Cultures had a sense of this, and that is what they were addressing with the Rain Dance. But one group, one tribe, can only reach so far… your entire Earth population needs to join together in a Peace Dance… if you are going to be able to cope with the Pole Shift that is coming.

I love the phrase “Sea Change” that the business world has adopted… and yet, the true meaning of this, the true scope of this, has not been realized. You are literally facing a “magnetic change,” that goes all the way to the very core of the Earth; that is being driven or pulled or shaped by the energy field or aura of the Earth herself.

Yes, your hubby is right, there is a relationship between the Earth and the Sun—between the Earth and all the planets, in fact—that is contributing to climate change. And there is more to it than that. You can easily see the contribution of the “greenhouse gasses” to the equation. But what is causal to that? What energy fields in the people of the planet are causal to the outcome of greenhouse gasses? Why does the Earth need to move off the unloving energies in the first place?

Some of you are directly responsible for letting them in. I don’t mean to make you feel guilty, or bad—what I am hoping to point to, is that you also have the power, and the responsibility, to help with the cleansing that is coming.

Releasing unloving light is just part of the equation. You also need to release guilt. This means that you not only have permission to be “selfish” about what and who you include in your lives, you actually need to do this. The change starts within you, and then pulses out to your relationships, your families, your business partners, your friends… it continues to act on your civic structures, your social structures, your financial structures… why do you think that your economy is coming apart? It is, in large part, because of the intent of the parental fragments to undo the damage that has been done.

No, of course you do not want suffering. But you can’t let guilt keep you from allowing people to experience their own consequences. It is a giant version of “tough love,” of healing from co-dependence.

It is also a giant version of “getting clean,” of healing from addiction.

You really do need to look at every aspect of your life through the lens of “sustainability”—whatever that means to you. Another way to say it is you need to look at every aspect of your life through the lens of “health,” another way is “considering seven generations,” another is “considering all your relations,” another is “how it feels to your will.”

I know you don’t trust the healing process completely, and that is fine. How could you trust it ahead of the experience? But I want you to notice when you do listen to that voice, when you do act on it: how do you feel? What the results are in your life and in your world? You may not recognize how your actions are impacting the greater world, but they are.

First they flow out on subtle levels… and it is really these subtle levels that start things moving “out there.” This movement allows for the more substantial levels of your behavior to actually make a difference, to make change. In fact, when you let your will vibrate, when you sound, you are creating a resonant field that reaches out and “lubricates” things that may have been “stuck” for a very long time.

So don’t underestimate your power. You do that far more than overestimating it. Don’t veer from the path that your innermost knowing and desire point to.

With all the change that is coming, there is going to be a lot of opportunity to act in new ways. There are going to be cracks and fissures in the Intimidating Form that you call reality that you can follow to more open spaces. There are going to be roads that lead to your own right places, if you will allow yourselves to take the initiative, and get there first. For these places are your places, and you belong there, in leadership positions.

It is okay to be angry if someone is in your place. It is okay to complain that you could do it better than they can. It is normal to think about how you could improve things. These are all aspects of the process of you taking back your power. And if you make a mistake once you are in that position, forgive yourself. Making a mistake does not mean that it is not your position. It just means that you needed the experience to help you understand the “right” way to do something.

And people need to learn how to support you in your position. If they don’t get that “right” immediately, it does not make you wrong to be there, or make them wrong to not be there—it is just part of the learning experience. Forgive them for not knowing how to support you ahead of time. Continue to express your needs and preferences. Allow things to turn out right in the long run.

This brings me to a very important judgment release, but I would like to turn it over to God to talk about this.


God speaks: Thank you, Whale, for your wisdom, and for sharing your Grace with all of us. I really appreciate your message.

The judgment that Whale is speaking of is the one that wants to prove that your rage is right for giving up your power in the first place. This is the part of you that gives up—not because of a lack of commitment, or stamina, as the Elk Medicine brings—but because it has always known reversal, and finds it safer to expect that, instead of healing.

In other words, this judgment is the self-fulfilling prophesy that your rage or terror keeps manifesting when it says some form of “I knew that it would never work,” or “I can’t do this,” or, in your hubby’s case, “whatever I do turns to shit,” “it doesn’t matter what I do,” etc. Sapphire, in your case it shows up as a commitment to the symptoms of your brain chemistry imbalances. By this I mean that you hold on to them, as evidence of your past trauma.

Ironically, the way to heal this type of judgment/emotional pattern is not to release it in the usual way, in some form of “I forgive myself for judging that I would always have revesals,” etc. That tends to backfire. The way to heal this is to validate it.

Your judgments are absolutely right, on one layer of the cake, and there is no going to another layer until you have fully accepted your rage or terror’s position. You need to fully hear yourself… you need to fully feel the extent of the reversal that already happened to you around your power, over and over again. You need to let yourself rage about your powerlessness, or be terrified of your power, which led to others trying to control it, or grieve about the consequences of losing your power—whatever comes up for you.

You have very good reasons for being reluctant to take your power back. There is no point in skipping over these, because if you don’t understand them, you will be more likely to create yet another reversal. I don’t, we don’t, want you to do that.

You have my absolute permission to really go into why you don’t want your power, how you feel about losing it, why it was so unfair, or why losing it was my, or another’s, fault… it is totally okay to be “unreasonable,” or “stubborn,” or “unwilling,” or whatever position you might judge as being “politically incorrect” about it.

You may also discover that you have abused your power in the past—and frankly, who hasn’t—and feel you don’t deserve it, or can’t trust yourself, or need to punish yourself. So be it. Nobody can make you take back your power. You actually have the right to refuse it. If you really don’t want it, you can give it to me. I’d much prefer that than you give it to a denial reflection.

In fact, many of you went into seminaries or convents because you didn’t trust yourself with your power, and wanted me to take it back. Unfortunately, I had the same problem, so my denials were often running the show in these scenarios. We both have work to do.

Many people who were the “right” people to lead faced reversals because they had no understanding of how to release their own guilt and judgments—and so drew the reflection of their guilt and judgments in manifestation. Some didn’t even know they had guilt or judgments, and so the reflections seemed to “come out of nowhere.”

Some had fragmentations, usually of their rage, that wanted to be in the parental position, and so pushed their parental parts out of their place—or even killed that part outright. Some of you tried to avoid this by banishing or killing your rage fragment first—but this did not actually remove it from manifestation. It often just flowed to another person that had room for it, and did you in anyway.

Your rage may have something to say to you about how you are or were fulfilling your leadership position. It may be very angry with you for denying it in favor of a more “loving” presentation. It may, in fact, be “right”—that what you thought was love, was actually guilt, and you “should have” let your rage say “no” in the first place.

Of course, what rage needs to understand, is that you needed the experience, and you did not have very good role modeling from Your Parents.

My point is; you have to let yourself go into all of your feelings, here. You need to give yourself permission to really explore all of your judgments. You made them because of something that happened to you; in other words, for a “good reason.” You were trying to protect yourself from ever having to experience the pain of that original experience again.

But, as you know, the way to truly heal, to truly protect yourself, is to allow yourself to feel the original pain. In fact, there is really no way to avoid it. Your judgments can’t protect you from it, so you might as well give them up.

I am not saying that you have to go into a long, painful process, necessarily, but I am saying that you have to allow your will to let you know what it has been holding—and your lost will, as well.

You may find that you are triggered by each other as you work through your relationship to your own right place and whatever form your leadership takes. From my perspective, this is a good thing, as there is more possibility of healing when you are getting your triggers “internally,” so to speak, than “out there,” in the gap. Jealousy, competition, judgment, criticism, impatience, resentment are all likely to come up. Allow them to take you where you need to go.


Mamunia: Thank you, God. You have taken us into the Leadership Quadrant (North). I would like to close this meeting now, and invite everyone to return when we will continue with leadership, and then go on to your vision for 2009. In closing, I will put the antler back into the center of the circle, and invite anyone to share whatever they need to, to get closure.


Gar-Gar speaks: Thank you everyone, for another enlightening meeting. I am thinking about how I always look to adults for wisdom, and that I can also look to my peers, especially other younger males, for insight and guidance. I am not sure what my leadership role is in that context. I guess I fear that I won’t be respected because I am small for my age. Anyway, I am going to be sitting with this for a while.


Inanna speaks: I am going to be sitting with my relationship to power. I know I have abused it in the past… and I think I have abdicated from a lot of it because I didn’t want the responsibility again. I have been working with my child-self, as I needed to reconnect with that part of me… but perhaps it is time for me to step into my adult-self, with the wisdom that I have gained. I am not exactly afraid of doing this… it just hasn’t seemed like the right thing to do. But as I am becoming more involved with the Universal Healing Project, I am more interested in being conscious about the ways that I am living out my right… what is the word… not one in English… “beaming manifestation” is the closest I can come.


Whale: there is a bumper sticker that we find very amusing… it is of a whale, saying “save the humans”… and this is actually how many of us feel. Yes, some of us have turned away from the two-leggeds… but some of us recognize that some of you are receptive… as some of you were in the Old Days… so I want to say Thank You, for making space for me in your Circle. I don’t always speak, but I almost always come. Much of my message is communicated through non-verbal means, anyway… it is there for your taking, if you so wish… and is always there, through your connection with the Akashic Plain. It gives me, and many of the non-human nations, much happiness that so many of you are receiving us again.


God: I am glad that you are willing to specifically look at leadership… it is a very charged issue, as you well know… the more you move with the little triggers, the less you will have to draw big ones to you… So I am hoping that you will call [your potential client], and talk to her about what is going on in her community… hint, hint. ;)


Me: whew, yes, all of this is very intense for me… I am feeling a bit of terror… I am grateful for all of the input, everyone… grateful to myself for putting time aside for this… grateful for my hubby and grateful that I have a life that allows for this time, and the technology to capture this and share this… thank you, thank you everyone…


Wolf speaks: thank you for noticing me. Yes, I have been Elk’s enemy… but that is not why I am here today… though I do appreciate Elk’s wisdom, and know that I am the other side of that coin. I am here because I have an urgent message, that I want to squeeze in here, even though it is rather last minute. My message is simply this: you have to embody the energy of The Hunter as you track and own your right place.

I know there is much to heal in the Predator mode. But to do this, we need to honor what is right about this modality, what it is useful for, and when is right time to be in this mode. In order to heal it, we, the predators, the reflection of your denial of it, need you to bring it back into your bodies, and work with it, in order to discover what it has to contribute in its healed form.

This is a part of leadership, ownership, and power, at least as it stands right now. I don’t care if it doesn’t remain so, but I am asking you to please stop denying your own predatory aspects, so that they do not have to act out in a state of denial. Bring them in, move what needs to move, and learn what needs to be learned. Thank you.


Mother speaks: I hear you, Wolf… and your Bretheren… and I thank you for heading my cry for healing, in the way that you can…

Leadership that is not power-over, that is not predatory, is hardly imagined at this point, let alone manifested. Yet it has to happen.

But I am willing for you all to go through whatever you need to go through to get there. I am willing for Rage to have its say; for whatever feelings, “unloving” or no, to come up and express. This is the way to take the fangs out of the flesh, the claws from the hide.

You have to be willing for your rage to express, too, in order to follow my way. You have to trust your will, and make it safe for ignition to happen. When it does, take advantage of it, no matter how ugly you have judged those feelings in the past. Embrace the shadow.


Mamunia: thank you, everyone, for your contributions today. And thank you, Sapphire, for suggesting that we transfer in. I was being too ambitious in my agenda, I think, and it was a good lesson in allowing the process to unfold in its own pace—pacing being one of the lessons that Elk has brought to us today.

Until next time, I will formally close the circle. Aho.


All: Aho.


No need to wonder longer if she brought me something home!

Aho!!