Its The Stupid Economy

I was hungry. I'd spent hours researching. Finally made a decision and bought $10 worth of stock.

Pheew!

Now I'm really nervous. I've procrastinated for years in deference to the monkey. The one sitting on my shoulder and telling me the whole damn thing is a dangerous conspiracy.

Conspiracy? How's that?

"Well, just plunk some money down and see what happens," said the monkey.

Thus the hours of exhausting research ending in the $10 buy and afterwards I was so famished I called up and ordered a double sausage and cheese.

"That'll be $10 and it'll be ready in 20 minutes," the voice on the other end said.

The only reason you'd ever want to invest your money in the stock market is to get more money back right? Made sense to me and I wanted more money.

Lo and behold... when I sold my stock I got $15. What a system! What took me so long to figure out something so elementary? And where's that damn monkey? My money just increased by 50%.

Called for a celebration so I called up and ordered a double sausage and cheese. "That'll be $20 and it'll be ready in 20 minutes."

What? $20? It was 10 last time I ordered. How come 20 now?

Ever hear of inflation you nit wit? Do you want the pizza or not?

Uh, I only have $15. Maybe you better cancel.

Damn I'm hungry.

So I call up the bank. You got any money I can borrow?

"Ya, we got lots of it. C'mon down."

"Told ya so," said the monkey.